Making a Choice
by Lysa-uk
Summary: Can Ed persuade Danny to make an important decision?
1. Chapter One

Title: Making a Choice

Author: Lysa-uk

Feedback: Please do, If you want it, ask first, and it's yours

Rating: T

Summary: Can Ed persuade Danny to make an important decision?

Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me, they belong to Gary Scott Thompson/Universal Studio's/NBC and everyone else who isn't me.

Notes: This is my very first 'Las Vegas' fanfic. I have a number of fics archived, but they are all Buffy, so this is new for me. This is set a few days after the events of 'Silver Star', without having seen the episode after. I love the whole dynamic between Danny and Mary, their friendship and relationship, so this is kind of about that. I don't know if I've pulled it off, some of it may seem out of character, but I am interested in adding another chapter or two of this if anyone wants to read it.

* * *

The surveillance room was quiet, which was good, because that was just how Danny McCoy liked it. There were still people milling around watching the hundreds of monitors that covered the room, everyone at their own stations with their own areas to concentrate on, just like always, but he was alone at this console.

He was sat in the middle of the room, the place Mitch usually occupied, the wall of video screens just in front of him. He had sent the other guy out a half hour ago, lying through his teeth by citing that he just needed to go through a few things for Ed, and that he could go for a break if he wanted and Danny would cover for him. Danny hoped that he wouldn't be back any time soon.

There didn't seem to be anything going on down in the casino, which was a good thing, considering how much attention Danny was paying to it. As in, he wasn't paying any at all. He was paying more attention to the more than familiar girl sitting at one of the tables in Bella Sera.

Mary Connell.

God, she was beautiful. He had always known that, so why had it taken him so long to do something about it? Why did it take nearly being killed to make him see what he wanted so much?

Her waved hair was hanging around her tanned shoulders and bare arms. She was concentrating on something in front of her that Danny couldn't quite see, but it looked like paperwork, while the pencil in one of her hands tapped the table in a rhythm.

He was thankful that there weren't any distractions today. There always seemed to be something happening somewhere in a resort like this. Or, actually, three or four something's all at the same time. That usually meant noise, and noise meant people and trouble, usually of the criminal kind, and that was definitely not where his head was right now. Problems meant talking, yelling, phones ringing, running around and usually violence. It meant checking surveillance footage over and over again, and Ed Deline on his back. For the moment, he was happy being here alone, no Mike relaying the specifics of the latest 'Engineering Weekly' or whatever the hell it was he read, and no whales with outrageous requests to see him in swimming shorts. That was something he'd only do once.

Well, maybe 'happy' wasn't exactly the right word. He was nowhere near happy, hadn't been for the past few days, and seriously doubted he ever would be again. Not that he was being melodramatic in any way, but losing the only person he had ever felt any kind of connection to tended to bring out the negativity in him.

He hadn't really slept much in the past few days, not since Mary had… He didn't finish the thought, because thinking about what had happened between them made it feel like someone was ripping into his chest with a blunt pair of garden shears. He wasn't big on sleep, anyway, even before the recent spell back in the Marines. This job wasn't exactly nine to five, and he liked that, he had gotten used to it a long time ago, but lately it had been worse. No sleep equalled cranky Danny, as some of his friends had dubbed him lately, and he thought that maybe he needed something with routine, like that job at the construction firm that his father still managed to drop into the conversation every time they talked.

Maybe he should have taken that job back when he had first been offered it. Maybe he should have just said 'thanks, dad, that'd be great', without ever considering the Marines. That would have meant that he had never left Mary back then, not run away from what was happening – or starting to happen – between them. He considered, for just a minute, packing up his life in the Montecito, walking right out of that door and going to his old house and telling his father that he was ready. But he couldn't, because as much as he loved his father, he didn't deserve to be saddled with someone whose heart lied elsewhere.

Despite his problems, Danny loved his job, he loved this room, he loved every part of the Montecito, and he loved everyone who worked within its confines. Maybe that feeling was just temporary, and it was possible he might change his mind sometime in the future, but right now, this is where he felt like he belonged, however hard it was for him.

And it **was** hard. It wasn't the greatest situation when you and your ex worked in the same place. It was hard because he saw Mary everywhere he looked. Granted, that was his own fault when he'd been using the surveillance equipment to track her every move since she had given him the engagement ring back, but still.

That reminded him…

The engagement ring.

He fished into his pants pocket, taking out the diamond band he'd kept on him ever since she'd given it back, just so he could touch it and feel it whenever things got really bad, just to remind him of what he'd had and lost. He held it in the light of the lamp that sat on the desk in front of him. The light reflected off the facets, glinting at him, taunting and laughing at him almost, and he figured maybe he had been here for too long if inanimate objects were making fun of him.

He wished he could just throw the ring away – or, considering how much it had cost, put it back in the box and pawn it sometime when he was short on cash. But Mary had been worth it. He would have paid it ten times over, a hundred times over, because she meant more to him than anyone else ever had, or ever would, and he'd wanted her to know that. But he did wish that he could forget about it, forget about Mary and what they could have had.

But he couldn't.

His eyes were drawn back to the screens ahead of him, watching her as the pencil she was holding came to her hair, twirling around a few locks of it to make it curl when she let go to write something on the paper in front of her.

She was dressed in black today. In fact, if his memory recalled, she had been wearing the same colour for the past few days, ever since they got back from L.A. Actually, looking down at his shirt and pants, and then at the jacket that was hanging over the back of his chair, he realised that he had been doing the same. He wasn't sure if it was conscious or subconscious, but it was like he was going through some kind of mourning period, and he wondered if she felt the same.

Today she was wearing black pants and a black tank top, detailed with tiny sparkling sequins around the v-shaped neckline that showed just the smallest hint of cleavage. It was driving him crazy because he actually knew how amazing she looked underneath, could see it when he closed his eyes, could imagine how her skin felt under his touch and how she smelt. He felt his jaw clench when he thought of it never happening again.

She had been in Bella Sera for a while now, flicking through pages that looked like entertainment requests and programmes, sipping on iced mineral water, and he knew how long she'd been there because he'd been watching her all day, ever since she'd gotten to work this morning. He'd barely seen the outside of this room in the past few days, other than when he was arriving or leaving. Any problems on the floor had been attended by Mike or Ed, or Danny had radioed for security to handle it, and nobody had really questioned it, which surprised him, because he was usually the first person down there. But in here, he could sit in a corner and use the monitor that he could turn around and move so that no one else could see, use it to watch as she sashayed down a hall or across the casino, watch how every guy in the room turned to look at her, and how she was completely oblivious to it.

He could also watch how she kept using her thumb to rub the finger where the engagement ring had been not so long, and he wondered if she even knew she was doing it. She'd do it when she was talking with guests, or when she was reading through her programme, or when she was having lunch with the girls, like she had done today. She had sat with Delinda, Sam and Nessa out by one of the cabanas, picking at a salad with a fork but never actually eating anything, touching that finger so much that Delinda had reached across the table to take her hand, and he wished he could have heard what they were saying because he could feel his ears burning.

The girls knew now what had happened between them, which was good because when they first found out the engagement was off they'd come straight after him. Judging by the looks he had received from some of the other employees, pretty much everyone in the casino thought it was his fault, but he was okay with that. The girls, though, they were pissed. They had all asked him why, asked him how he could do it to Mary when he knew how much she loved him, and he hadn't said anything because they wouldn't have believed whatever he had told them. After everything that happened, after all that they knew of his and Mary's relationship, he was the one they thought most likely to break her heart, and he had to say, if he was looking at things from their point of view, he'd be thinking the same thing. Now they knew the truth, and they had all apologised, but he didn't mind, because at least he knew that Mary had them to rely on, and knowing she was okay was the only thing that was keeping him together.

But how could she be? That was what he didn't get. She was the one who, for the past year, had made it perfectly obvious what she wanted from him. She wanted him to face up to their past, and to what he had been hiding from all of this time. And when he did face it, what did she do? She tore out his heart and stamped on it with her six inch stiletto Jimmy Choo heels, squishing it into the expensive upholstery of the casino, or that's how it felt. Had she been waiting to do this since he had left all those years ago when he joined the Marines? Was this some kind of payback?

He already knew the answer to that. Mary wasn't that person. He had lived in Vegas his whole life, met more liars and cheaters than he cared to remember, and she wasn't like that. Mary was sweet, and honest, and loyal, and loving, and she'd do anything to help anyone, and he knew that she wouldn't do that to him. He wouldn't have blamed her if she did, but she wasn't that person.

His eyes found her on the screen above again, watching as she smiled, not her wide, bright smile that showed perfect lips and perfect teeth and made her cheeks dimple in the most adorable way, but still, a smile, maybe the first he'd seen since they got back. Then he saw her talking, and he realised that he had pushed in on her image so much that he couldn't see anything else. He let one of his hands hover over the keyboard in front of him, let his fingers tap in a sequence, and the image widened.

And he didn't like what he saw.

He had been so deep in thought that he hadn't seen the guy who had been sat at the bar earlier who was now approaching her.

The guy was about thirty or so, from what he could see, with dark hair cut close to the scalp. He had brown eyes, tanned skin, and what looked like a pretty good body underneath his Gucci pants, sports coat and white shirt, not that Danny was looking, of course. And he was drinking a Lite Beer.

Danny laughed to himself condescendingly. _A Lite Beer? Please._ But he wasn't laughing when the guy pulled out the chair next to Mary and sat down, smiling, and chatting away to her. He recognised the guy now as one of Sam's high rollers, remembered him from a couple of months ago when he had lost fifty grand at the blackjack tables, and he couldn't suppress the smirk that came to his face.

But he only had picture here, no sound. Where was Mike when you needed him? He wished the other guy was here to run down there and plant a microphone or two so he could hear the conversation. Whatever it was, it must be good, because she was still smiling, and coquettishly lowering her head and blushing, and he wanted to go down there and punch the bastard, even more so when the guys brushed his hand over hers on the table and she hadn't moved away.

_Walk away,_ Danny mentally urged, his fingers rapping on the desk in front of him, obviously frustrated, until he sharpened the image so he could look closer at the two of them, trying to read their lips and minds. It didn't take much with the rich guy in the suit, not with the way his eyes kept travelling over Mary's body, and the way he was reaching out to touch her hair, briefly but intimately, something he used to like doing because he loved the smell and the feel of it against his skin.

"What's going on?" A voice asked, and Danny instantly recognised it as belonging to his boss. He palmed the ring that still sat in his hand, closing his fingers around it tightly as he quickly typed in a sequence on the keyboard to disappear the screen that he had been watching so intently.

"Uh…" Danny said nervously, the image of the Mary and the loser in Bella Sera being replaced with that of one of the roulette tables in play. "Uh…not much," he mumbled, his arm coming up to wipe away the beads of sweat that were forming on his forehead with his shirt sleeve.

"Good," Ed commented, looking around the room, his eyes narrowing. "Did I give everyone the day off or somethin'?"

"What?" Danny asked, following his eyes across the room with a confused expression.

"Mitch, Mike…" he said, "Where are they?"

"I sent Mitch on a coffee break," Danny informed him. "And Mike is down at valet. Some problem with a limo breaking down."

Danny watched his boss, guilt written all over his face, as Ed came over to the desk he was sitting at. The older man pulled out the black leather chair next to him, and sat down.

"Everything looks pretty quiet," Ed said.

"It is," Danny agreed. "We had a snatch-and-run earlier. Security caught it. Metro took the guy away."

Ed nodded to himself, leaning back in the comfortable chair that had been sat in far too many times, swinging it slowly from side to side as he watched the young man. The former Marine was sweating, he could see the beads of perspiration forming on his forehead, despite his earlier attempts to hide it. He could see the young mans eyes flicking over the screens in front of them, anything from Bella Sera suspiciously missing. He could see the boy's hands shaking, something gripped tightly in one of them, while the other ran over the keyboard, and Ed guessed this was him trying to look busy.

"She, uh," Ed began warily, "She's a beautiful girl, Danny."

Danny turned his boss, confusion and panic on his face. "Huh?" he asked.

Ed reached to his right side, pulling the surveillance system at the other end of the desk over to him. He quickly ran a sequence over the keys, and with a beep the image of Mary and the guy in Bella Sera came up onto the screens in front, stretching over the entire wall in a way that made Danny pull away a little, exhale loudly and fall back in his chair.

"I, uh…" he said nervously, stumbling over his words and shooting worried looks at the former CIA man. "I was just—"

"Like I said," Ed began, leaving the image on the screen and watching Danny's reaction, watching the way his eyes didn't leave the girl in front of him, "She's a beautiful girl. If you're gonna break up with someone who looks like that, you've gotta expect some other guy to make his move."

"Why does everyone think it's my fault?" Danny asked, his eyes and an angry expression directing towards Ed.

Ed put his hands up in a defensive, passive gesture. "Sorry," he apologised. "I just assumed—"

"Yeah," Danny snapped, "Just like everyone else in this place."

"Hey, kid," Ed said, leaning forward to rest his elbows on the desk. "I didn't mean anything by it. I just—"

"It's okay," Danny said, shaking his head and letting out a long, slow breath, his expression changing from charged to weary. "Don't worry about it."

Ed watched the screen for a second, before looking back. "We haven't seen you on the floor much recently," he commented.

"Yeah," Danny agreed. "It's just…I thought it would be easier if I stayed out of the way for a while, you know?" he said. "Kept a low profile?"

"You mean you didn't want to run into Mary?" Ed translated.

"Something like that," Danny told him. "It's too hard. For both of us."

"You wanna talk about it?" Ed asked.

"I really, **really** don't," Danny said.

"You sure?" the older man asked. "Because sometimes it helps."

"Is it gonna change what happened?" Danny asked. "Because if it isn't, I really don't think there's a point."

"Why don't you listen to someone who's got a years on you, okay?" Ed said. "I don't exactly go offering my services to all my employees. If I make you an offer, you take it, simple as that."

"You're threatening me?" Danny asked sceptically.

"I was kinda hoping it wouldn't come to that," Ed told him.

"Look, she broke it off, okay?" Danny said, obviously irritated. "Can we just leave it at that?"

"I'm afraid not," Ed said. "I'm struggling to understand what happened here, Danny, I really am. One minute the girls are telling me you're in L.A. to elope, and the next I find out it's all off."

"Elope, huh?" Danny asked. "I guess now I understand what all of those billboards were about."

"They wanted to do something nice for you both," Ed explained.

"I know," Danny said. "But it just kind of made it worse when she gave me this back…" His hand came to the table, his fingers releasing the item trapped within it, the ring sitting in his palm, the indent of the diamond imprinted into his reddened skin.

"Danny, that girl," Ed said, pointing to the screen in front of them, "She loves you. No matter how much I tried to talk it out of her while you were away, she does, that much is obvious."

"But she thinks it's not right," Danny said. "That's what she said. That she loved me, but that sometimes things just don't work out, even if you want them to. And then she walked away."

"And you didn't go after her?"

"Why would I?" Danny asked.

"Here's the thing I've learned about women, son," Ed said, "When they walk away, sometimes all they want is for you to go after them."

"You're saying it's like a test?"

"Sometimes," Ed said. "Do you agree with her?"

"About it not being right?"

"Yeah."

"No."

"Then why did you let her walk away?"

Danny's face fell, his eyes flickering from the video wall, from the girl smiling, down to the ring on the table. "Because she deserves better than me," he said seriously. "She deserves more than what I can give her. She deserves the best. I'm just not sure I can give her that."

"And you don't think that maybe she should be the one who makes that decision?" Ed asked. "You didn't even give her the choice, Danny. You let her walk away, probably believing that you agree with what she said."

"I don't," Danny told him. "If I believe anything…it's that Mary and I are supposed to be together, and I know she believes it, too, in her heart."

"Then why did she say what she did?"

"Because…" he said exhaustedly, "She knows me too well. She knows that when I'm scared, when I don't want to deal with something…I run away. I did it when we were younger. I did it when I came back and I couldn't deal with happened over there. I did it when you told me about the Silver Star thing."

"She thinks you're going to run away from her?"

"Yeah," Danny said sadly. "She thinks that when things get tough, I'll leave."

"And you don't think you will?"

"I know I'll want to," Danny admitted. "But she means too much to me to walk away, you know? If those few days in L.A. taught me anything, it's that I don't want to ever be apart from her, that no matter where I go, I'm always gonna come back to her."

"And you think that's fair on her?"

"Of course I don't," Danny told him. "Why do you think I'm staying away? She thinks that when I came back, I proposed to her because I didn't want to die without having something to show for my life. She believes it's a reflex thing, to rush into something with her because I'm scared to be alone. She thinks I just want someone in my life to take my mind off the nightmares and everything that happened over there."

"I have to say," Ed commented, "Not that it's any of my business, but those thoughts did occur to me. Danny, I've been where you are now, but when I came back to Jillian, it was because I knew, without a doubt, that she was the one for me. I knew that I loved her, that she's the only one I'll ever love."

"It's that thing, isn't it?" Danny asked with a smile.

"What thing?" Ed asked, confused.

"What's the line, 'when you realise you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible'."

"Why does that sound familiar?"

"'When Harry Met Sally'," Danny said.

"The movie?"

"Yeah," Danny told him.

"This may come as a surprise, Danny, but I'm not really the chick flick type, you know?"

"And you think I am?"

"You're the one pulling quotes out of your hat."

"Mary must have made me watch that movie a million times over the years," he said. "I think she was trying to drop me a hint."

"It's one of Jillian's favourites," Ed said with a smile. "Delinda's, too."

"Is that how you felt?" Danny asked him. "When you were away?"

"Oh, yeah," Ed told him. "Absolutely no question, but we're not talking about me. What about you, kid?" he asked, his eyes on the screen in front of him. "Do you love her?"

"How do I know?" Danny asked desperately.

"I can't tell you that," Ed informed him. "What do you feel when you look at her?"

"She makes me feel like love is more than just the way my heart races when I see her or the way my palms sweat and my hands shake," Danny said fondly, his eyes hazing over and a smile coming to his face. "It's something that I can feel running through my veins, that I can feel consuming me. It makes me want to protect her from everything, and I know that I'd die for her. All I want is for her to be safe and happy. It makes me want to be a better person.

"When I was away, she was the only thing I thought about. She was the thing that kept me alive, that made me **want** to **be** alive. She's the reason, you know?"

"For what?"

Danny smiled, his eyes sparkling. "For everything," he said simply.

"Well, kid," Ed said, "If that ain't love, then I don't know what is."

"Maybe so," Danny allowed. "But that doesn't mean I'm going to do anything about it."

"And why the hell not?" Ed asked, his expression a mixture between angry and bewildered.

"I've known that girl my whole life," Danny said emotionally. "And she has been through too much for me to screw up her life now. Mary didn't have…the greatest childhood. She put up with a lot. So much that even I'm surprised by how amazing she turned out."

"She had you in her life," Ed said. "Of course she was going to turn out great."

"Are you kidding? If anything, it's the other way around. She's my best friend in the whole world. Don't get me wrong, Mike, Delinda, Sam, Nessa…even you… You're all great friends, really, but Mary… I know that no matter how awkward things may be between us now, she'll still be there for me, she'll still be my friend at the end of everything. And vice versa. I can't risk that."

"You have to."

Danny turned to his boss, "What do you mean?"

Ed pointed to the screen, "Look at her, Danny," he told him. When Danny looked uncertainly from him to the video screen, and than back again. "I mean, really look at her," he said firmly.

Danny's eyes settled on the girl in front of him, the girl he knew better than he knew himself. "I'm looking at her," he said. "I'm also looking at that guy making his move on her."

"Don't worry about him," Ed said, waving a hand in the air.

"Why not?"

"You don't remember him?

"I know he's one of Sam's clients."

"And you think he's interested in Mary?"

"You think he isn't?"

"I think she has two things he's not really into, and missing one thing he really kind of **is** into."

"Meaning?"

"Figure it out, Danny." He watched the perplexed young guy. "He's gay. He's down here because he fell for one of our dealers the last time he visited. Apparently some long distance romances do actually work out."

"He's…" Danny's jaw fell, before a smile took over his face. "Oh. Great."

"Can we get back on topic now?"

"Sure."

"Do you love her?"

Danny's smile faded, that pained expression back in full force. "Yes."

"Then, kid," Ed told him. "You've gotta make a choice."

"A choice?"

"You have to decide if you can live every single day without her in your life," he said solemnly. "You have to decide if you can have her as a friend and nothing else, if you can see her every day, but never know how it feels to have her in your arms, to hold her hand and kiss her. You have to decide if being her friend is gonna be enough for you. You have to decide if you can live with seeing her with another guy, because even if it isn't **that** guy, there's gonna be someone else just waiting to take that place. You have to decide if you love her enough to fight for her."

Ed let himself fall back, his spine resting against the comfortable black leather. "So what's it gonna be?" he asked, turning to the younger man.

There was no one there. The only thing he saw was the matching black chair spinning on its axle after its occupant had made a quick exit, and a glance at the desk confirmed the engagement ring had gone.

Ed grinned to himself. "That's what I thought."

His fingers tapped in a familiar sequence on the keyboard still in front of him, adjusting the screen with the joystick to follow the figure now running down the stairwell out of the surveillance area, through the blank, concrete hall and through the door onto the main casino floor. He followed him as he ran through the blackjack tables, the roulette wheels, the players and the dealers, past the coffee shop and the gift shop until he appeared in front of Bella Sera.

He watched as Mary continued her conversation with the guy in front of her, totally oblivious to the man standing just a few feet away. That was until, however, she caught a glimpse of him out of the corner of her eye, whatever she was saying forgotten as she trailed off.

He watched as she stood up, taking a few steps back, as Danny approached her, taking long, purposeful strides with a look in his eyes that was pure determination. He watched as the man finally met her, watched as Mary was obviously struggling to breathe, tears springing into her eyes as Danny reached up and brushed a lock of hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ear with tenderness, before it moved to her cheek, a smile on his face that said exactly what he had been trying to drum into the kid all through their talk.

He watched as Danny cupped her face, his free hand coming to rest on her other cheek as he said something to her, something Ed couldn't quite distinguish without any sound, and his view partially obstructed. He watched as Danny touched his lips to hers gently, and that was when he switched off.

"Good for you, kid," he said to himself with a smile, the many monitors in front of him switching to different views from all over the casino. "Good for you."


	2. Chapter Two

Mary Connell found herself cursing the lack of activity in the Montecito, from an entertainment coordinators point of view, anyway. It wasn't like the casino was quiet, not by any stretch of the imagination. There were people everywhere you looked, and a few places where you kind of wouldn't want to, either. Every table open was full, the same with the roulette wheels and the slot machines, people who wanted to make a million or lose a million, it was all the same down here. There were people of every race, religion, maybe even every country, all here in this resort, and that was only one of many reasons why Mary loved working here.

It was funny that she couldn't seem to remember what all of those other reasons were right now.

She just wasn't comfortable here anymore. It wasn't like she hadn't tried to get on with life and work and all of those other things after what happened with… She took a deep breath against the wave of pain that hit her, thinking even his name made her feel like there was a baseball being pitched into her stomach at a hundred miles per hour.

…Danny McCoy…

There, she did it. She thought about him and what she did, without actually being physically sick, which made it the first time in days. Being in this casino, in this hotel…everywhere she looked, he was there. Not in person, because she had a feeling that he was maybe avoiding her, but the memories were, and that was more than enough.

She wanted to get past what happened, she honestly did, and she knew the whole thing was her idea. Not her best idea, granted, but still. But it was something that had to be done, and if she was honest, she had known that from the second he had put that ring on her finger, whether she had wanted to acknowledge it or not.

The baseball was back again, and this time it brought friends.

The engagement ring…

It had been so beautiful. That night when he'd pulled it out of his pocket, she had been blown away, made breathless not just by the gesture, but by this bright, sparkling diamond that glimmered in the candlelight around them. When he'd placed it on her finger, it was a perfect fit, looking just right on her hand when she looked down at it. She had loved having that ring on her finger. She had loved the way she sometimes forgot about it and then she'd just catch a glimpse of it out of the corner of her eye and she'd smile to herself because of it. She loved the way she'd see someone's eyes drawn to it when she talked to them, whether it was someone she knew or some stranger she was helping with directions through the maze-like resort. She loved the way she would always use that hand to brush back her hair, or shake someone else's, just so she could show it off that little bit more. It wasn't just the ring, it was what it had stood for. It was the fact that he had given it to her that made it matter, and she would have felt the same whether it had cost thousands of dollars or twenty five cents. It felt like, while she was wearing that ring, no matter which hand it was on, there was always a little bit of Danny with her, and it was beautiful just because of that.

She knew now that it wasn't the ring, he was just there, in her heart, and that would never, ever change.

She had tried to stay out the way of people since it happened, however hard that was in the Montecito. She had tried to stay where people couldn't look at her with pity in their eyes, like they had been doing, because apparently everyone in the place knew how much she loved him, although she didn't remember broadcasting that little piece of news, and therefore knew how she must be feeling with the engagement broken off. She spent a lot of time alone in the auditorium, claiming she was giving the place a thorough check for the big concert in a couple of weeks when Duran Duran would be coming to play, but Sam had figured her out and thought it would be an excellent time to relay her own experiences about break ups and failed relationships.

After escaping Sam, Mary had tried to find solace spending time in the vast Montecito ballroom, again alone. The air conditioning had gone down so it couldn't be used for the salsa contest they were supposed to be hosting, but she'd gotten Ed to use his contacts and they'd transferred the competition to the Mandalay Bay, which Mary had been glad about because the last thing she needed was to see a hundred couples looking at each other with desire in their eyes, gyrating against one another when she had just willingly given up her only hope of being with the one person she had ever felt any kind of passion for. Everyone knew that Mary loved her job, so when she passed on dinner with the girls to keep an eye on the engineers, no one had questioned it. But then Delinda had found her sitting in a corner when she came to bring her some takeout from Mystique because she thought she might be hungry, away from prying eyes, and decided to recount the time she had spent with the guy Mary had been supposed to be getting married to. Mary had made a sharp exit from that situation, because as much as she loved Delinda, she didn't need her heart to break any more than it already was by hearing about her and Danny.

But no matter where she was, she always felt eyes on her. She had never really paid attention to it before, the hundreds of cameras situated in every conceivable nook, cranny and corner of the casino resort. She knew they were there, but she had never felt conscious because of them. Until Danny, of course.

Since he had gotten back from the Marines and their relationship moved in a more…intimate direction, he'd take her into the surveillance room when it was quiet to show her exactly what he did all day. One time, he'd sat in the chair at the desk with the console in front of him, and then he'd pulled her onto his lap and kissed her over and over again while life in the casino played out as usual on the monitors and they'd felt like they were in their own little world. He'd put her hand on the joystick, closing his fingers around hers, and showed her how they track someone's movements throughout the place, and he'd whispered in her ear that sometimes when he was alone, it was her he'd follow, that he'd watch her as long as he could without getting caught, smiling to himself when he thought about how satisfying it would be when they could be together, and he could touch her and kiss her. It was the most amazing foreplay either of them had ever experienced. That was until Mike had walked in with a knowing smile on his face, and Danny had whisked her into the holding room down the hall and they'd released all of that passion that had been building between them. She'd never look at a security camera the same way ever again.

Maybe that was why she felt like she was always being watched now. While she and Danny were a couple, it was like a thrill, for her to look up and see a lens following her wherever she went. She'd think of him sitting at that desk, following her, and she'd blush to herself as she fixed a sultry gaze that she hoped he could see, a silent promise of what she'd do to him when they were alone. She knew he wasn't always there, more often than not he was on the floor, chasing some kind of cheat or criminal or something, but it gave her a rush, and it made her count the minutes until they could be together. It comforted her as well, knowing he was there, that he'd do anything to protect her, just like he always had, that he'd take care of her.

She didn't feel that way now.

She was sitting in Bella Sera now, sitting alone at a little table for two in the middle of the bar, pencil in hand with a glass of iced mineral water that she was kinda wishing had a shot of vodka in right now. She had her entertainment requests from Sam's clients in front of her, trying to look like she was thinking of a way to get Britney Spears to perform there for one of the Montecito's biggest players without getting married, when really she was just quietly reassuring herself that she had done the right thing, even if she had been doubting her own reasons ever since she had walked away from him.

Ever since that moment, she had wished she didn't work here. She had felt like she was being watched whenever she walked down the halls, whenever she spoke to a guest or another member of staff, even if she doubted that were true. If Danny was avoiding her, it was because he felt humiliated more than anything, like his pride had been wounded, it was nothing to do with any of the feelings he said he had for her. She felt herself squirm in her seat, uncomfortable in her own skin, could feel her ears burning like she was being talked about.

It had been the hardest thing she had ever done, to give up everything that she had ever wanted. She had given him that ring back, kissed him one last time, and she had walked away. Then, she had found a quiet corner in the empty Mystique and she sobbed her heart out. It hadn't been long before Delinda found her, Nessa and Sam not far behind, but she hadn't been able to tell them. She was crying so hard she could barely breathe, let alone talk, but Nessa had taken her hand and noticed that the sparkling diamond ring that she had been in awe of before was gone. When they'd looked at her questioningly, all she could say was that she'd given it back. They hadn't left her alone for at least twenty four hours after that, but Sam had made her excuses and disappeared for an hour or so. Then, Delinda had done the same thing, and then Nessa. When Mary asked where they had been, they said it didn't matter, that there was just something they had to take care of, but Mary had suspected Danny wasn't having the best of days either when she had finally managed to tell them what happened and they had all paled and muttered something between themselves. Underneath it all, they were a family, and they looked out for one another, and however bad Mary had felt about it, she kind of liked that they were on her side.

But when they had asked her to explain why she had done it, she hadn't been able to say. Because for that moment, however strong her belief was that it wasn't her he wanted, she wanted it to be. She **still** wanted that. She guessed she probably always would.

It was about then that she realised she wasn't quite as alone as she thought. She could feel someone looking over her shoulder, and not just from the security cameras. This was an actual person, she knew that from the shadow being cast over the table and the paper she was pretending to pore over. She felt her breath catch in her chest, thinking that maybe, just maybe, it was him, and that he was going to tell her that she was wrong, and that he loved her and wanted her and…

She turned slowly, cautiously, seeming in slow motion as her eyes met…not Danny's. The guy was tall, with short hair and dark eyes and had a beer in one hand, and even if he wasn't what she was expecting, she wasn't complaining. The guy was good looking, there was absolutely no question of it, but she also knew that this guy wasn't the normal 'hey-can-I-buy-you-a-drink-and-show-you-the-view-from-my-hotel-room?' standards she was used to when she sat in this bar. This guy was different – probably because he was gay and the first time she had met him was when she caught him and one of the blackjack dealers making out in the empty auditorium.

"Hi," the guy said, a wide smile developing on his handsome face.

"Uh…hi," Mary said curiously, her eyes suspicious and wondering, narrowing when she tried to think of a name…a name…a name… "It's, uh… It's John, right?" she asked, silently praying she had gotten it right because sometimes she could be awful when it came to remembering names, especially when there was something else occupying her thoughts, and just like always, it was a certain someone she had known since she was two years old.

"Right," he told her, pulling out the chair next to her, much to Mary's surprise, and she hoped he didn't see the look of relief pass over her features. "But by the look on your face, I'm thinking you're kinda disappointed."

"Disappointed?" she asked, and apparently she hadn't needed to worry about the relief because the hopes that had been dashed had hidden that completely. "No, of course not, don't be silly."

A long moment passed, Mary looking at him expectantly. "Was there something you needed help with?" she asked when he was very obviously not offering any additional information.

"Not really," he said, shrugging and looking around the bar as he took a sip from the bottle of lite beer he was holding in one hand, a circle left on the table that Mary was suddenly transfixed by. "I was just sitting over at the bar until I realised something."

"Which was?" she asked, her mouth turning up in a smile.

"I hate drinking alone," he said with a cute grin that immediately brought a flash of Danny into her thoughts that she stubbornly pushed away. "I thought that maybe I could sit here with you and not look like such a has-no-friends loser."

She opened her mouth to protest, to tell him that the last thing she needed was people around her, people she had to smile at and make conversation with and pretend she didn't feel like she was dying inside.

"It won't be for long, I promise," he told her, another smile, this one dazzling, revealing bright white teeth that seemed to glow next to tanned skin. "I'm just waiting for someone. As soon as he's here, I'll leave you in peace."

"It's not…" Mary found herself looking away from him, looking down at her paperwork, looking at the ice that seemed to be melting, anything that wasn't him and his eyes that seemed to be looking at her with concern. She didn't need that, didn't need anyone's pity and concern. "I just… I don't know…" She finally let her eyes move up to his face, feeling an intense blush permeate her cheeks and she wondered if they looked as red as they felt. "I just don't think I'm very good company right now," she told him with a smile that hid so many things inside of her.

"You don't need to be," he told her, leaning forward in his seat and letting his hand brush over hers on the table. "You just have to make it look like I'm saying something terribly interesting."

"Well—" she began, using her free hand to brush away some hair that wasn't anywhere near her face but it gave her something to do.

"Come on," he coaxed, but he didn't let go of her hand.

"Okay," she conceded. "But if you get bored, don't blame me. I warned you."

"I'm sure I'll be fine," he told her.

She laughed, and he moved his hand from the table, something that made just a tiny, tiny part of her sad because she felt so alone.

"So," he said, taking another sip of his beer and setting the bottle back down on the table as she picked up the pencil, attempting to get back to work.

"'So', what?" she asked, her eyes diverting to the pages in front of her.

"Where's that boyfriend of yours?"

And Mary felt her heart stop. She felt her blood run cold, and her hands began to shake. She dropped the pencil she had tried to work with as she picked up her glass and took a sip, the beverage threatening to spill when her hand was trembling so much.

"My boyfriend?" she managed to squeak out from somewhere. "What boyfriend?"

"That guy you were with the last time I was here," John said, and a smirk broke out on his face. "I saw you guys together, making out in a yellow car in the parking lot. I actually wondered if I should break you two apart when Metro rolled by in a patrol car. I thought they might arrest you."

Yellow car… Parking lot…

"Oh," Mary said, clearing her throat and feeling a cold sweat breaking out all over her body. "I, uh… I think you mean Danny."

"Right," John said. "Nick's mentioned him. Security and surveillance, right?"

Mary nodded, barely managing to make her body move on its own. "Yeah," she said. "And we broke up."

The other guy's eyes widened as he looked at her. "Oh, god, I'm sorry!" he told her in apology. "I always do that. I'm a master at putting my own foot in my mouth."

"Well, I guess it beats putting someone else's foot in there," she said with a smile that was way too forced. "It's fine," she told him, trying to shrug it off.

"But you guys seemed so…" he shook his head to himself. "I remember telling Nick, and he said that you guys were perfect for each other. That you were getting married."

"Yeah, it didn't work out," Mary told him, her head down again when she felt tears prickling at the back of her eyes.

"Do you mind me asking what happened?" he asked.

"No," she said, a brief glimpse at him and he was genuinely interested. "We've been friends a long time, and we thought that there was something more there. It turns out – not so much."

"Are you sure?" he asked. "Because from where I was standing, you were pretty into each other, that was obvious."

"We tried, it didn't work," she said. "Not really much else to say."

"Except that you're in love with him," John said, and when Mary looked at him his eyes were set, comforting and warm, just what she needed and exactly what she didn't need right now. She tried opening her mouth to object, laugh off his suggestion, but she couldn't quite find the energy to.

"Yeah, well, I've lived with it for the past twenty years," she said, bitterness creeping into her voice from somewhere deep inside. "I guess I'll have to live with it a little longer."

"Why did he break it off?" John asked.

"He didn't," Mary said bluntly. "I did."

"Why?"

"'Cause," Mary said with a shrug.

"'Cause'?" he asked. "That's a reason?"

"Okay," she allowed. "**Be**cause."

"Yeah, much better," he said dryly. "Okay, I get it, you've loved this guy pretty much forever, you're supposed to be getting married to him and you break it off… Wait a minute… Actually, no, I don't get it."

"You don't need to," she said. "Things with me and Danny have always been…complicated. But being in love with someone doesn't automatically mean they love you back."

"How do you know he didn't?"

"Because I know **him**," she said. "And don't get me wrong, I want him in my life, as my friend if nothing else, but I just can't pretend that everything's okay and go along with the whole marriage façade when I'm wondering if a couple months down the line, is he going to change his mind?"

"Did you ever ask him?"

"No," she said. "I don't need to. I told him that it wasn't right between us. I handed him the engagement ring…" She felt her eyes cloud with tears, and she could feel it transferring to her voice, making it break slightly but she fought it. "I gave him back the engagement ring, and he did nothing. He just stood there."

"Did you give him a chance?"

"There's too much history between us," she said. "Too much for it to be anything more than what we are. Danny has a history of doing the easy thing. I've known him since we were two years old. Instead of dealing with something, he ignores it. There has been…something…between us for years, and he never did anything about it. He ignored it because he was scared."

"You don't think that's a valid reason?"

"It is," Mary admitted. "Danny has had to deal with a lot over the years, and I know that because I went through it with him. He's my best friend in the world, he always has been, but I'd rather have that than nothing at all."

"Why does it have to be a choice?"

"Because…" she said slowly, "If we had stayed together…what's going to happen when he wakes up one day and realises what a big mistake he's making? He'll run away, that's what."

"Why do you think he's going to run?"

"Because that's what he does, okay?" she said. "He's done it before. He's done it to me."

"Did he tell you he loved you?"

"Yes," Mary told him, and she found herself focussing on her fidgeting hands on the table.

"Did you believe him?"

"No."

"Has he ever lied to you before?"

Mary looked thoughtful, casting her mind back…and back…and back…so many years had passed by. "Hurt me? Yes, more times than I can count. Lied to me? I don't think so."

"Then why do you believe he didn't want to be with you?"

"I know he loves me," Mary said. "We've known each other forever, so I don't doubt that he loves me. But he loves best friend me, and he loves loyal me, and saving his ass me. I just don't think he's **in** love with me. He wants to be. I just don't think it could ever be real between us, and we both deserve better than to be a second choice."

"That's just it," John told her, "I don't think he could ever be your second choice. I'm gonna ask you again… Do you love him?"

She took a deep breath, her arms crossing in front of her on the table. "More than anything…" she whispered.

"Then you can't let this go," he told her. "Because if you do, you're going to regret it."

"But what am I supposed to do?" she asked passionately. "What do I do, walk up to him and…"

The sentence trailed off as she caught a glimpse of something out of the corner of her eye. She wasn't quite sure if it was actually real because she swore she saw this ten times a day.

There was someone standing just a few feet away, standing just in the perimeter of the bar. She wouldn't allow herself to look fully, not just yet, because she was getting too used to the disappointment every time she allowed hope to flare within her only to find it wasn't him.

But this time… This time she could almost smell his cologne, not because he wore a lot of it or because it was so pungent, but just because she knew how he smelt from all of the years he'd spent wearing the same cologne she'd bought him for his eighteenth birthday, afraid to try new ones because there was only one he thought he'd ever like, and only ever liking that one because she had bought it. She knew it from when they had been together, from when she had kissed his neck, nuzzled her chin in the crook between there and his shoulder, and from when she could still smell it on some of her clothes and on the bed sheets hours after he'd left. She could sense how close he was by the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end, felt a prickle of something travelling over her skin as her eyes travelled to where he was, and she felt her heart stop as their eyes met.

She could feel herself shaking, could feel her heart nearly stop as she pulled herself up to stand, one hand on the back of the chair the whole time because she wasn't quite sure she'd be able to manage this without the support.

She swore she stopped breathing as she watched him move, long strides that in reality only took him seconds to cross the room, but in her mind it felt like hours, and she suspected she might die if she didn't breathe soon, but that wasn't likely. She forgot about the guy she had been talking to just a second or two ago, just like she forgot about everything else in the world, knowing only that Danny was heading for her and she had absolutely no idea why.

And suddenly he was there, in front of her, his strong features and his bright eyes and his adorable smile, and she felt a tear slide down her cheek, not knowing if it was the first, only that it definitely wasn't the last.

His hand came up to brush a lock of hair from her face, pushing it behind her ear gently and letting his hand linger there, just for the hell of it. His fingers moved to her cheek, stroking and soft against her skin, and she wanted to say something, she really, really did, but suddenly she couldn't talk, just like when she was fourteen and got laryngitis and Danny had stayed home from school for a week to take care of her, getting grounded for a month after when his dad found out. His free hand came to her other cheek, his eyes on hers the entire time.

"You're wrong," he said simply.

And then he leant down, his lips meeting hers to kiss her in the sweetest way.

There should have been a million reasons why this was a bad idea, why she should have been stopping him, but for this moment, she really didn't care.


	3. Chapter Three

Mary didn't know if it was self-indulgence or just plain stupidity that kept her kissing him, and either way, something in her brain screamed at her that it didn't matter, because she was kissing him, and he was kissing her, and that could only be good.

_But it's not,_ something in her brain told her, the part of her brain that still worked with her body pressed into his and his strong arms holding her tightly. It wasn't right, because nothing had changed, but this might be the very last time she ever got to kiss Danny McCoy, so she'd make the most of it.

_Okay,_ Danny told himself, _this was good._ He had wasted so much time, been such an idiot over the years, and now he finally had it all figured out, everything slotted perfectly into place for the first time in his life, and, God, he was so afraid that it was too late.

All the way down from the surveillance room, all the way down the halls and down the stairs, and when he running through the casino floor, his heart was pounding and his stomach was turning and his hands were shaking so much he was afraid he'd fall over something right there in front of a whole bunch of strangers and employees who'd get a big thrill out of his humiliation.

And then he'd just watched her. He'd stood a few feet away from her, watching as she smiled, smiled with something hidden behind her eyes that she didn't want anyone to see. But he knew it was there. He always knew. She thought she could hide from the world, fool everyone with a beautiful smile and twinkling eyes. But she couldn't fool him, and he realised that was just another reason for them to be together. There were a hundred thousand more, but that was the one he thought of in that moment.

And then he hadn't been able to just watch anymore, and it was just about then that she had turned and caught his eye, like she had known he was there. Maybe she **had** known. Maybe she was just able sense when he was around, because he knew that he did. He knew that in any crowd in any room, the scent he tried picking out was the one she wore, the smell of her shampoo and the sound of her voice, all the things that were filling him right now.

His feet had worked on their own initiative, taking him over to her in long strides that made him more and more nervous every time his foot hit the ground. She had looked at him questioningly, and he had to smile at that because it was so adorable on her, and he'd told her she was wrong, because she really, really was.

If he'd been able to think about anything, he'd have thought that maybe her decision was made and he wouldn't be able to sway her, that she'd laugh at him and reject him, though they were things that he knew she'd never do to anyone, especially not to him.

And then he had kissed her. And kissing her was like… It was like no feeling in this world or any other. He'd never believed in heaven or hell, not since he was a kid when his father would make up stories about his mother watching them from a better place. Danny remembered asking his dad where exactly could be better than with her husband and her son, the two people who loved her more than anyone else possibly could, and of course there had never been an answer. But if by some miracle there ever was a heaven… This was what it would be like.

And she was kissing him back, wasn't resisting, and that was good, right? He could even feel the way she was trembling, her hands only lightly grazing his chest, touching him softly like she was afraid that this was a dream and if she held on any tighter he would just disappear, like so many of her dreams had since that day when broke it off between them.

And then he could feel her pulling away, a cold chill hitting him where the warmth of her face and body had been, and he had to force his eyes open to look at her. Whenever they were apart, when he closed his eyes, he sometimes forgot just how beautiful she was. He'd know in his heart that she stunning because he'd known her forever and having a best friend like her growing up did some seriously strange things to a teenage boy, but then he'd see her again and sometimes, like right now, it would just take his breath away and he'd be too speechless to say anything until the initial shock wore off.

Mary backed away, not too much because her knees were hardly capable of keeping her upright when she had been leaning on him, so on her own she knew she had no chance. Instead, she grasped the back of the chair where she had been sitting a few minutes earlier, using it to support her weight just to get some distance between them because she could barely think when he was close to her. She could feel the tears welling in her eyes, hardly unfamiliar but wholly annoying when she couldn't really see properly through them. A hand came up to her face, swiping at her eyes as inconspicuously as possible and she thanked the lords for waterproof mascara.

"Danny…" she said, although the word came out in a half-sob, half-whisper. "What are you doing? You can't just kiss me and then…" she asked him, but she ran out of breath. She took a moment to compose herself, took in a lungful of air and felt her throat clear. "What are you trying to do to me?"

"Mary," he said, and that was going to be followed by something else. But when he tried to think of the words to express everything right at this moment, nothing came, and he was standing there in front of her with his mouth open and his expression blank.

"What?" she asked him, her face a mask of confusion and hurt. "Danny, we're…we're over, okay?" God, that hurt to say. It was like she felt her heart break a little bit more inside, even if she hadn't thought that was possible. "It means that you don't get to kiss me, and I don't get to kiss you. We agreed."

And then he found his voice. "No, we didn't," he told her softly. "We didn't agree anything. **You** made the decision."

"Well, it wasn't like you fought me on it," she pointed out, and she could feel the tears still there, held in check only by sheer will, because if he wanted to do this, she would. It was time to get everything out in the open. Okay, so maybe a full casino with people slowly turning to look at them and listen to their conversation wasn't the best way to do it, but still…

"I didn't know how to," he told her, a frustrated expression coming over his face and his hands came up to his face in a hope of divine inspiration.

"And now you do?"

"I know that you were wrong," he told her. "I knew it then, and I know it now."

"Danny, come on," she implored. "You know this is all just some reaction to you not wanting to lose at anything. It would have only been a matter of time before things started going wrong between us. You were there in L.A., when I asked where I stood with you, you couldn't answer. You know how disconnected we were. You don't want to be alone, Danny, no one does, but I won't be your safety net. I can't do it."

"What are you talking about, 'safety net'?" he asked.

"I don't want to be your second choice," she said. "The one you settle for because you're scared of getting close to anyone else."

"You think that's what this has been about?" he asked her.

"Isn't it?" she asked, a challenge set for him.

"No, it's not," he told her. "And if you just listen to what I'm trying to say—"

"I've been listening to you my whole life," she told him. "And all it ever got me was pain and heartbreak."

"Mary," he told her, a slow smile spreading across his face. "You could never be anyone's second choice. Especially not mine."

"Do you have any idea what you're doing to me?" she asked in a whisper, a lump forming in her throat that seemed to appear every time he said something like that making it difficult to speak.

His hand came up and wiped away a tear that was falling down her cheek, his hand lingering on her smooth skin for longer than it should have because he had missed it so much, even if they had only been apart for a few days.

"Do you trust me?" he asked her.

"With my life? Absolutely," she managed to say. "With my heart? Not so much. You've broken it too many times already."

"All of my life…" he told her, "I saw my father hurting every single day because of what happened to my mother. He'd smile and he'd laugh and he'd talk, but there was always something empty in him because his heart was so broken. You know, you saw it. I don't want to be like that, Mary. He didn't have a choice. I do.

"In L.A., you asked me where you fit in… I know the answer now. I always knew." He reached down and took her free hand, the one that wasn't gripping the back of the chair so hard that she was sure there would be imprints of her nails forever. He placed her palm over his chest, right over where his heart pounded wildly inside of him, and she let herself hope it was because of her. "Here," he said emotionally, feeling tears form in his eyes that he tried to shrug away as he looked down at her hand over her heart. "You belong here."

"Danny…"

"I am in love with you, Mary Connell," he told her.

"You're not in love with me, Danny," she said, her voice thick with emotion. "You're in love with the idea of me. How you were when you came back from service… I've never seen you like that before. You were so afraid of having nothing in your life that you thought us being together would solve that. You had seen so much over there, lost so many friends… I wanted us to work so badly, Danny, so much that I can't put it into words. You needed someone to cling to, for the first time in your life, and I wanted to be that person because I never thought you'd need me like I needed you. But I think you're confusing needing a friend with something else."

"I have friends, Mary," he said determinedly. "I have Delinda, Sam, Nessa, Ed as friends, and I wouldn't change that. You and me are different. If I felt like this about Ed, there would be something seriously weird about this whole situation."

"This isn't something to joke about, Danny."

"Do you see me laughing?" he asked. "I'm not joking about anything. I have never been this serious in my whole life. If I don't love you…why can't I breathe whenever I think about you? Why can't I think when I see you? Why does my heart stop when I touch you? When we're apart I can't wait to see you again, when I see you I can't wait to talk to you, when I talk to you I can't wait to touch you, when I touch you I can't wait to kiss you, when I kiss you I never want to stop.

"I've watched people die, people I was supposed to fighting against and people I had spent months with, relying on them to watch my back. I couldn't believe in God or any kind of higher being controlling us and fate and life, because no one and nothing could ever be that cruel. But that didn't stop me from praying to whatever's up there or around us that I'd live long enough to see you again, and even if I have only just accepted it, I'm not going let any more time pass without us being together. When I was away, all I ever thought about was you. You know that. The one thing that I knew I had to come back for was you, that was a promise I made to myself the second I said goodbye to you.

"My whole life, you've been there, and that made it hard for me to see clearly. I thought that was what friendship was, feeling like you needed the other person to be whole. The day after the Duran Duran concert, I asked Greg if he felt like that, and he laughed and said that it was just you and me who felt like that and it scared me the crap out of me. I never wanted to acknowledge what I felt for you because I was scared of what it would do to us. I didn't want to screw it up, and then realise I'd lost my friend because of it.

"But I couldn't do that anymore, I knew that when we were together the night I shipped out. I didn't want to play this game of flirting and getting jealous and then having to pull myself back because I didn't want you to realise what was going on. It was getting too hard watching you and knowing how felt but never being able to do anything about it.

"Being with you…that was the one thing in my life that ever felt right," he told her seriously. "My life changed because of you, Mary, the moment you said yes to marrying me. I know that you think it was rushed and impulsive, but after all these years, was it really?

"Then why," she said, taking a deep breath and swallowing back everything that was filling her, "Why, when I told you it was over, did you just let me walk away, Danny? If you were so sure, why didn't you come after me?"

"All of this time…I was so scared of you and me being together…of us. You were the one person who was always so sure that we'd work out and be okay, you know? When you called it off, I figured that if you had doubts…then we really never did have a chance," he said, shaking his head to himself. "You know what, though? It's taken me all of this time to realise that you don't have all the answers, you're just as scared as I am and that's okay. It doesn't matter anymore. I'm not afraid of us anymore, because I'm more afraid of living my life without you."

She pulled her hand away from where it was still resting on his chest and wiped it on her shirt, and shaking and fumbling she wiped at her eyes. "I can't do this…" she told him, turning to leave.

"No," he told her, grabbing at her hand, stilling her. "I'm not making the same mistake twice." He gently turned her back towards him, his hands moving to her face, one on either cheek and holding her gently. "Look at me," he told her when her eyes flickered around them, seeing everything but him.

Her eyes eventually rested on his as he moved closer to her, and her hands came up to cover his. "Look into my eyes," he told her. "Have I ever lied to you?" he asked.

She gulped back the lump in her throat, managing a barely-there, "No," and a shake of her head.

"Then believe me," he said. "Mary, I love you," he told her, his thumbs gently tracing her skin, making her tingle all over and her breathing hitched. "God, I love you so much, and I can't let you give upon this. We have to try, because if we don't, we're always going to regret it. And I don't ever want to regret anything, especially when it comes to us."

He put his lips to hers, just briefly and barely, but they were together and he could feel how much she was shaking. He pulled away and let his forehead rest against hers. "Tell me that you don't love me," he challenged her quietly, and he got a brief flash of that night when they trapped in the elevator together.

He kissed her again, their lips together for longer this time and he felt her hands gripping him tighter. "Tell me," he said again when they pulled apart.

"I can't," she whispered back. "I do love you, Danny, and I always have, but—"

"No 'but's," he said. "I want to know what it's like to be married to you," he told her. "I have to."

The gasps around them were audible as he let her go and sunk down on one knee, one hand retrieving the engagement ring from his pocket on the way while the other held her left hand tightly. "Please, Mary Connell…" he said looking up at her, the emotion in his voice evident to even his own ears. "Will you marry me?"

She looked down at him, a smile on her face that they should be able to store and use to light up Vegas if they ever had a blackout again. She was done being afraid, too. She was done thinking up excuses why not to love him and why they shouldn't be together when this was all she had ever wanted since that day years ago behind the swings.

"Yes…" she told him, voice marred with so much emotion that it was hardly audible. But he heard, and his smile grew over his face and reached his eyes, making them shine in the glare of the lights around them.

"Yes, Danny McCoy," she said again, and this time it was clear and without a hint of regret. "I will marry you."

He had leapt up and slid the ring onto her finger in one quick motion, his hands coming up to her cheeks to hold her as his eyes found hers. "I love you," he told her again, sincerity clear in every part of his body. She nodded, and amidst the cheers of the crowd that had formed, he kissed her.

Slowly at first, of course, because this was a 'once in a lifetime' moment, one of those times that you'll remember for as long as long as you live, and probably for as long as you're dead too, something that they'll be telling their kids and grandkids about in years to come.

His lips against the softness of hers, a taste of lipgloss just detectable that seemed so very familiar and warm at this moment that he hoped he could always taste it every time he kissed her in the future, and he knew there would be a lot of kisses. It was the first time he had thought about the future in any long term way. Usually, it was the need-to-get-my-car-to-the-garage this weekend kind of thoughts that would never define him or who he was. That was what this moment was, though. A definition of him, and of who he wanted to be. Thinking of the future was something he hated doing before, but knowing she was going to be with him, it held no fear because he knew he'd be okay, as long as she was there.

He always thought that he had to change before he could truly be with her, to be the man she needed him to be. He just realised that he didn't have to change at all, because she loved him for all of that, not in spite of it.

He tasted saltiness in the kiss, and for a second he was tempted to open his eyes and see what exactly that was. But then he felt a wetness on his cheek, and he realised it was a tear, his or hers, he wasn't quite sure, more than likely just a mixture of both. Her hands were on his chest, fingertips burning into his skin through his shirt. Her lips parted beneath his, and his tongue found its way in. He tasted her, just like she was tasting him, and he could feel his own hands shaking as they wound around her neck and into long, soft hair that brought back so many memories of their life together. They stayed like that, entwined in one another, revelling in the moment, **their** moment, until…

Until they realised where exactly they were. In the middle of a crowded casino with hundreds of pairs of eyes on them. But it wasn't until a particularly loud cheer from Mike permeated the din and reached their ears that they pulled apart.

Danny took her hand, the hand on which the ring sat, and brought it to his mouth, kissing the back of it in a way that made her laugh, eyes lighting up in a way that he hoped would never go away.

"Are you serious?" she whispered, disbelieving but knowing in her heart this was exactly right.

He chuckled to himself as her eyes found the ring on her finger, facets tiny and glittering, as perfect on her hand as she remembered.

"I told you not to expect another one," he told her with a grin.

"Wow," she said, "And you didn't even run away this time."

"Come on, let's go celebrate," he said as she grinned mischievously, taking her hand and leading her through the crowd, with slaps on the back and shouts of congratulations the whole way.

This was going to be a new start for both of them, one without the doubts and fears of the past. They deserved this happy ending, or happy beginning, which seemed more appropriate. They'd make this work together, because it was too hard to be apart.

Besides, Danny McCoy and Mary Connell were supposed to be together.

Everyone in Vegas knows that.

The End


End file.
